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How women are their own worst enemies

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“She’s put on weight since the last time I saw her – that dress seems a little tight, doesn’t it?” , “She looks a typical aunty with her glasses and Kashmiri shawl, so backward” , “What’s she wearing, her dress is so revealing, such a slut” , “She is not giving enough time to her family, she is selfish and busy with her job” , “What’s the point of doing an MBA when all that she does is cooking food for her husband”Do these comments sound familiar? Perhaps many among us will protest that such statements are sexist, body-shaming and chauvinistic. But I have heard all these from women in parties, family functions and workplaces. No matter how nice or helpful girls are, it seems to me there is still a shadow over them, a doubt about their value, which must be some kind of unconscious hangover from Victorian times. They endure their female friendships behind “frozen smiles and a facade of intimacy” but the battles waged beneath the surface are so merciless. If we accept the idea that being a woman makes us an unwanted intruder, we are much less likely to reach out and help the next woman up the ladder. So is the irony with Indian women, they want equal rights but forget to see their own daughter-in-law, sister-in-law or a colleague at workplace with same eye. From warring sisters, to mothers jealous of their daughters, to female work colleagues at war, the war between two women often forces us to think who is the real enemy of women – Patriarchal Society, Pseudo-feminism or their own perspective? Here our guest blogger, Richa Saxena throws the light on this burning issue why women’s relationships with each other so often end in acrimony.
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Supporter or an enemy – the dynamics of womanism

Yes! I mean it.
It is not the male patriarchy or dominance that I would crib about in the next few lines, but the female mindset that I am going to elaborate. (Read thrash)
This is no rant. This is one of the most gruesome reality that exists within the male dominated society. The constant concerns of the elderly females that eventually turn into an order. An instruction.

COMPROMISE! ADJUST!! TRY TO TALK IT OUT!!

And all this comes mostly from the elderly ladies or the closest of the kin who you must have though to confide into during your darkest days. How am I supposed to even blame the opposite sex when the gravest of ravage has been done by our own people? The women. Before you think what I am talking about, think of it. The seeds of compromise and giving in to the demands of the husband are instilled in the young mind by the females in all capacities that may be possible. Your mother, granny or even your elder sister may be the inflictors here. The brutal damage to your sensitive heart might be in the form of a career limitation, the need to adjust with husband’s schedule, to avoid argumentative sessions with the in-laws, or even worse, to try sweet talking your husband into anything you want.

WHY? WHO AM I?
An appeaser. A male charmer.

Before talking of all the crappy women empowerment drama that is portrayed on the national television, how many of us have the guts to accept that in our own households, every single day, a silent wish dies. Every day our mother or mother in laws tells us to serve hot food to the husbands and settle with left over chapattis. No, I am not generalizing, but voicing out the plight of many women. Every single day, the deep buried whims face gender inequality because being a woman it is difficult to have it your way WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY OR BURDENED WITH A HUGE FAVOR. If a girl is allowed to do night shifts by her in-laws, it is such a huge favor. People start patting the backs of such generous in-laws. The husband who lets his wife out on a girlies date is immediately tagged to be the most understanding husband. If a woman is allowed to even continue her studies after marriage, it suddenly becomes talk of the town. If the man of the house lets his wife pursue her career, it is termed as a favor. I too appreciate such gestures. I truly do. 

But I have a question?

Why the liberties granter to us a treated like favors? Why every time I have it my way, I have to feel guilty about it for next several months? Why is it that men can have it their way as if they were born with the legal right stamped on them and women have to seek permission every single time? Is it that difficult for women to follow their heart?

But this message is for all the women out there. Be it your mother, mother-in-law, sisters, aunts, or soul buddies. Please do not tell us to compromise every time. Please do not continue instilling this notion that it is okay to let go of our wishes, no matter how petty. Do not force the age old notions of “Aisa hi chalta hai.”

Because, “Aise nahi Chalta hai”!

Gender equality starts when the beliefs and opinions are given equal importance. When each one has a role assigned, yet they are not slotted. It begins at home. It begins with appreciation and not granting favors.

Writer Richa Saxena is a freelance Content Writer Strategist and curates content for Half Baked Beans.

Also read: A world where girls carry the lineage forward

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Gauri

    October 14, 2016 at 1:06 AM

    Liked it
    Truthful portrayal or what goes on. It is either give up , adjust or wage war at every small thing that you want to do. War with everyone, more so with women around.

  2. Tanu

    October 9, 2017 at 6:46 PM

    Rightly said .. Journey from a girl to a Mar tried woman is not at all easy. Maturity, adjustment in the new environment , sacrifices all are demanded from women only as Men are staying in their own house. Sometimes Cold war goes on within four walls of the house and mostly with elder female member of family..

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Muslim boy evinces the problems of Muslims in India, and it’s not funny

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Muslims in India , Funny problems with Islam, muslims opression in indian army, hindu muslim harmony, hindu girl muslim boy love jihad

Why do Muslims have such a high population growth rate? Why do not they favor uniform civil code? What about the rights of Muslim women in India? Why Triple Talaq? Questions are many, that are being fired by ‘Virat’ social media warriors and then these are easily picked by ‘Pseudo’ liberals, not to answer these but to counter-question them. They use the ‘Muslim’ word/world for their own agenda and that revamps the hateful questions from form to another – Why are many Indian Muslims seen as untouchable? Why Government is oppressing Muslims? But amidst all this ruckus of downright nonsensical questions, one thing that is irrefutable about the Muslims in India that they love India and India loves them.

While wandering on Quora, I found a question gleaming on my timeline “What problems are Muslims facing in India?”, considering it another idiotic ‘agenda-driven’ audit, I was about to move on and then I saw this answer by a Muslim boy who revealed his ‘real’ problems in India and it touched my heart.

The ‘Real’ problems of Muslims in India

islamMuch has been said about ‘Secular Fabric’ theories in India, newspapers have inked reams of paper, we have a long list of politicians who are thriving on ‘secularism’ and the intellectual society that is showering hypothetical cynicism in our society; I believe most of them make their ‘invaluable’ opinions sitting in their air-conditioned rooms without going through a grassroots’ survey.

The secularism written on a piece of paper, shouted in TV debates is far aloof from the secularism practiced in reality. Secularism is something new, but ‘Ganga-Jamuni Tehzeeb‘ is an age-old tradition being followed by Hindus and Muslims with an unwavering  fidelity. Secularist hullabaloo dwells in TV debates and political spheres but ‘the real secularism’ lives in INDIA, in our hearts, in our veins.

There are some who sneer and cough in the times of rising intolerance and agenda-driven hatred, but here are many who know to smile in every milieu.

Yes! Being a Muslim I face many problems in India!

In School: Friends waited for me to snatch my tiff-in box for delicious Biryani and Kababs. I faced problems when all of them visited me at home on EID. I felt bad when I was spared from punishments during Ramzan. It was troublesome to visit each and everyone’s home on Diwali and other festivals.
In college: I again faced problems when my roommate in hostel made arrangements for me to offer Namaz. I got very angry when my college professor gave me enough liberty for attendance just to make sure I am offering my prayers on Fridays.
In office: During Ramzan, I faced problems being a muslim in India because every other individual wanted to offer me Iftar. Surprisingly, they even remembered my Namaz timings. I faced problems when my manager reduced my work load during those days and threw an Iftar party with people of every religion sitting beside me.

Jai Hind!
Mohammad Kashif

Here, Mokarram Iqbal tells how he have been lucky to live in a society that treats everyone equal regardless of their religious beliefs, while putting his experiences forward he opines it is the ‘Education‘ that makes the difference not the religion.

I don’t think I ever faced any problem regarding of my religious links rather I have been blessed and cared for being a follower of Islam in India. May be this is because my upbringing was in very favorable and great society. The major concern as if I can see is the “lack of education in the Muslim masses” that’s why they feel insecure to the majority masses. I lived 18 years of my precious life in a colony where we are only Muslim family and we are hell respected . I have got great friends who are not from my religion. I never got a single call of feeling problematic and insecure inside. In Ramzan when we were at fast, none of our teachers would even make us stand for punishment, this is not because they were afraid that we are Muslims but because they respect us. The major problem is the conventional approach of Indian Muslim society. May be in many parts of India any injustice is done to Islamic population but that doesn’t apply to general masses. Education stature of Indian Muslims must be enhanced and every problem will vanish. “I always feel safe and happy in India because I know I am living in the security of 100 million of Indian who follow Hinduism , Sikhism, Jainism, Christianity.”

Mokarram Iqbal

And while everyone was putting their sentiments forward, here comes a #BrutallyHonest answer from Abdullah Al Faruque who evinces – Yes, Muslims in India are facing many problems that might or might not be associated with other religions. There are all kinds of problems Muslims face in India. Some of these “problems” may be across religions and culture while some may be community specific. But they are there. Muslims do not face any problem in India which is a lie. A big lie! The first step towards solving a problem is to acknowledge that there is a problem. Denial does not help.

High population growth rate: There are many reasons for this. Lack of family planning, overall economic backwardness, unwillingness to use contraception (due to the perceived “evil” nature of contraceptives and accepting high birth rates as gift from God), lack of awareness and ignorance among Muslim women, marriage at young age (especially females) etc. are among the major reasons. And this has hampered the Muslims more than any other community. The Muslim community must look within and not be intimidated/antagonized by such elements and lose track of the problem. There has been a good decline in the fertility rate of Muslims in India and the trend must continue. The xenophobia among some non-Muslims related to this is absurd though! Analyzing the whole problem will nullify any misplaced notion on this issue which is generally fueled by propaganda.
Gender inequality:  Although this is a problem which is present across religions and cultures in India, Indian Muslims have the worst record for this. The reasons are high percentage of Muslims in agrarian and “physical labour focused” sectors, over-dependence on clergy in personal matters like marriage and divorce, marrying off girls at a young age, discouraging higher education among women (due to the age old “Indian” fear of not being able to find a groom) etc. It is absolutely incumbent for Muslim women to lead from the front in this regard. The victims have to make the loudest noise. And I am glad to say that it has already started in India. It won’t be eradicated completely in even the next 5–10 years but such change is seldom achieved in a haste.
Religious conservatism and intolerance: There…. I said it! I would like Indian Muslims to look at this issue rationally. I’m not going to quote verses here but will try to discuss this issue with nothing but logic. The main claim that fuels Islamic conservatism is that Islam is for eternity and it is perfect. OK! Let’s try and make sense of this. If the religion is for eternity, then it has to re-align itself with changing times to be conducive for progress. Change and progress are realities which only fools will deny. The modern world is radically different from what it was in the 7th century. We now know many things about the world which have never been mentioned explicitly in any of the religious texts.

“There are many other problems that Indian Muslims face but, in my opinion, these are the major ones. Most of the unmentioned problems here (poverty, illiteracy, political exploitation etc.) are common (both in size and scale) across the board which just proves my point of how Indian Muslims have integrated with the Indian culture now. Also, I think I must add that this answer might come across as pessimistic and rude to many but the question was about “problems that Indian Muslims face” and not how I party with my non-Muslim friends which of course I do and enjoy a lot,” further he says concluding his most rational reply in the thread.

When we talk about intolerance, paid-rioters, agenda-driven politics and TRP-thirsy media, we often ignore the fact that not all the fingers are same. Beliefs do not make anyone good or bad, every religion, be it Hinduism or Islam, has it’s own set of fanatic theories and blood-thirsty clerics, call them parasites who thrive on other’s blood and money. A rational approach is the need of hour, rules and verses were written in other times, if they are relevant in present times, follow them, if not – flout them.

Also read: A MADRASA THAT TEACHES SANSKRIT TO MUSLIMS

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‘MSG Online Gurukul’ to Unveil The Secrets of The Universe – First Look Out

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Confused about the evolution of the universe? Confused about the ‘missing links’ in the Darwin’s Theory of evolution? We always wondered about the cultural legacy portrayed in epics like Ramayana and Mahabharta and now we are waiting for MSG Online Gurukul that will enliven all these marvels. In a whopping gathering of 7 million fans at the grand birthday celebrations of Saint Dr MSG Insan, the first look motion poster of MSG Online Gurukul was released. The motion poster of Online Gurukul features the Rockstar Baba donning a warrior’s looks. The teaser and the trailer are also said to be in the pipelines.

Saint Ram Rahim’s upcoming movie MSG Online Gurukul will unfold the mysteries related to evolution and will portray the rich heritage of India. Online Gurukul is currently in post-production phase and might be releasing by the end of year.

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A commercial movie is supposed to entertain its viewers with hours of entertainment, some singing, an interesting tale and action, the first look of Online Gurukul predicts that the movie will be having all of them.

Made under the banner of Hakikat Entertainment, MSG Online Gurukul has been directed by the father-daughter duo of Baba Ram Rahim and Honeypreet Insan just like their previous movies.

Some interesting facts about MSG Online Gurukul

  • Saint Ram Rahim’s daughter Honeypreet Insan is also playing a major role in the movie. During the shooting of Online Gurukul, she performed her stunts so fiercely that renowned fight master Abbas Ali nicknamed her ‘Guru Ji Ki Sherni’
  • Online Gurukul will be having Hollywood styled VFX and CGI. The shooting of the movie was completed in 2016, since then it is in post-production phase, meanwhile Baba Ram Rahim released two movies Hind Ka Napak Ko Jawab and Jattu Engineer. It’s been more than a year, a huge team of VFX artists and graphic designers has been deployed in the making of Online Gurukul, and still it would take 2 or 3 months to complete it; one can imagine the scale of animations and the fantasized world of Online Gurukul.
  • Some details from Mahabharata and Ramayana era will also be portrayed in Online Gurukul. Saint MSG Insan will be donning 7 different roles in the movie. He will also be showing his 8-pack abs.

‘MSG Online Gurukul’ to Unveil The Secrets of The Universe

Saint Ram Rahim is all set to unfold the mysteries embraced by the universe. While Hollywood makes science fictions, Saint Ram Rahim will uncover the reality of Vedic Superscience in his next film MSG Online Gurukul. Insiders say that MSG Online Gurukul will also have some tweaks focused on training youth to stand against global terrorism instilling values of ‘Vasudhaiv-Kutumbkam’.

The name MSG Online Gurukul itself says a lot! With this movie Saint Ram Rahim is all set to foster the age-old values proposed by our ancestors mixing it with modern technology. Being a true torchbearer of wisdom, he is determined to save and cherish our culture.

This theme of film will project Indian Mythology as a big science to the outer world. Whatever science states today is stated long back in our ancient scriptures. The science is following the same. Our bright culture and mythologies and religious books are the best in the world.

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Hence the film is a fabulous step to project India as a Guru for the world. And for this Saint Ram Rahim is putting untiring efforts. Saint Ram Rahim will be seen playing more than 7 different roles and flaunting his 8-pack abs in the movie.

Spoiler Alert: As stated, MSG Online Gurukul will be based on India’s heritage and cultural legacy, Saint Ram Rahim will be seen promoting ancient rural sports of India in the movie. Recently in a congregation organized at Dera Sacha Sauda, Saint Ram Rahim disclosed that he will be seen playing Rumal Chhu in his upcoming movie.

To promote the rural games of India, Saint Ram Rahim has taken this legacy to international level with Tiranga Rumal Chhu League (TRL). Sorry guys, no spoilers.. Saint Ram Rahim himself had disclosed this in the presence of thousands.

Also Read: Jattu Engineer Weaves social Messages in Comedy

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Reminiscences Of A Seeker – The Good, The Bad And The Ugly of the Religion

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Reminiscences Of A Seeker by Kapil Kumar Bhaskar is a fantasy thriller. Through this book, the author describes the pure bond that is shared between a student and a teacher (Guru and his Shishya). The author has also revealed the darker side of a few people who cheat their own disciples.

Kapil Kumar Bhaskar takes you on his unforgettable true journey of the supernatural world of mystics and higher beings, unbelievable miracles and the parallel world of darkness and light, in his spiritual pursuit of seeking the ONE – who would show him the Ultimate Divine.

A series of events catapults Kapil into the fascinating world of Dark Arts and suck him into the quagmire of drama, suspense, greed and betrayal. And just when the trials and tribulations seem to engulf Kapil completely, there emerged from the deepest darkness, a Brilliant Light of his True Master.

Who is Kapil Kumar Bhaskar: Kapil is an author, healer and spiritual mentor who has been on his spiritual journey for more than two decades. Having received divine guidance, his knowledge and understanding of spiritual matters goes beyond books and comes from Anubhuti — the experience. In his own words, the experiences he underwent in this sojourn shaped him to become what he is today.

Book Review: Reminiscences Of A Seeker by Kapil Kumar Bhaskar

The existence of the paranormal world is as much real and any ordinary person can get caught in that world unless one is careful. We belong to such a period of time wherein innocent seekers are lured into the trap of so-called “Masters” who fool them easily by playing onto their deepest fears and weakness.who kapil kumar bhaskar, Reminiscences of A Seeker book review

This book will be a perfect catch for those people who are in search of some spirituality and energies. The main character of this book is in search of a teacher who can guide him on the right path of spirituality. This book is all about the rituals and practices which he performed to acquire some divine powers but in the end he was left alone and devastated.

The language of the book is easy and simple. The title of the book is really catchy and it perfectly describes the content inside the book. The book’s cover is all black with a picture of the moon and it looks quite simple and elegant.

The book is written like a constant stream of thoughts and occurrences as if the author was telling you the story in person. It’ll keep you hooked, and even if some things might seem unbelievable, knowing that it’s a true story helps keep you going.

What will the book leave you with?

Reminiscences of a Seeker will make you think how every great journey, whether spiritual or material or otherwise, tells you only one thing: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

We get attracted towards things that are flashy, that shine, that lure us into feeling good and powerful and beautiful but the feeling doesn’t last long, and only when we turn ugly and lose our natural goodness and positive energy that we realize we were running after the wrong things all along.

Real meaning and happiness comes from inside. Alas, it takes people entire lifetimes to come to that realization. Reminiscences of A Seeker promises a non-stop journey of thoughts from this world to that world!

Also Read: Terrorism and Islam – What Fuels The Hate

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