You know that feeling of heartache when you sense that it is over? It’s always difficult to figure out whether a relationship is over but sometimes the answer is right in front of you, but your heart denies it to be pointed out. And then question surfaces, “Is my relationship coming to an end?” Unless we truly know it’s over, we never want to believe it. When it comes to 24-carat gold wisdom, from philosophy to rhetoric, from science to psychology, Quora never fails to amuse us. While wandering here and there, I found this question on Quora, and found it really interesting. Interesting enough to share it here. Failing relationship – Better to fix it or to move on. What are your relationship goals. Do you need a relationship advice from marriage counselor. Best love guru advice or relationship advice for women that can save your relationship. How to deal with relationship problems and solution? Write a 100-words essay on happy relationship essay and rising divorce rate.
Failing relationship – Better to fix it or to move on
Relationships aren’t difficult. They’re really not. People are difficult. People make things overly complicated. They screw up and make mistakes. They lie and cheat. They make and break promises. People — not relationships — fail. Relationships cannot survive solely on love. Trust is the basic foundation upon which all the relationships are built. If you break trust with your partner, the relationship suffer. It is more often than not when “I’m done” moment comes in hindsight. Sure, we’ve been hurt, even grievously wounded, but there’s always hope, there’s always faith. While hanging like a pendulum between yes and no it becomes too tough to decide whether to try to fix the relationship or to abandon it and move one.
It depends on the relationship, what the problems are, and the people involved. An extreme example could be someone cheating, with the obvious reaction to be to leave. But then if you’ve only started dating and were on shaky ground, is it a huge deal? Or if you’ve been married for forty+ years, would you be willing to try even after that? Even the most obvious problems can be complicated and the only exception is abusive partners. After that it has to be a choice of both parties, writes Rebecca Owens.
Are you suffering silently, taking your lumps, gritting your teeth, and never directly confronting your partner over behaviors that make you angry? Quitting is a negative word, and it’s drilled into us that we should never give up. Knowing when it’s right to quit, when it’s best to move on, and what to do if you want to fix your relationships, all that depends on you, your wish and your circumstances. Sometimes you wish to give in your love, and sometimes you expect too much from your partner. When it comes to give selflessly you opt to make sacrifices for her/his happiness and when you expect too much it might or might not be up to your expectations. If you or your partner have reached the point of showing disrespect or being dismissive of each other, forget it. There’s no quicker way to erode good will and make it easy for someone to stop loving you. Some relationships are bound to fail from the start. Some things in life simply are what they are. There’s nothing we can do to change them.
Are you married? Try, at least for a while, but don’t be bullheaded and don’t stay if either of you is being abused.
Are you dating < 1 year? Move on.
Somewhere in between? I’d write an equation that accounted for your combined age and relationship history. Sometimes you need to work and learn to be in a relationship, and sometimes you need to learn that the reason we date is to learn who we want to be in a relationship with, or not, writes Karen Tiede.
When turned towards the positive, hope and faith are powerful forces and miraculous sources of healing, but when employed as mechanisms of denial, they form the pillars of a delusional world, along with their companion—fantasy.
What You Can Do To Save a Failing Relationship
Many relationships fail not because the people in them aren’t right for each other, but because they fail to put in the effort. How do you save a relationship that is heading towards a doom? How do you keep the two of you together when things are already starting to fall apart? The most important thing is to believe in what you want at the bottom of your heart. The only thing you need to do to give your relationship a chance of making it is this: You need to try. If you really want to fix the problems you should genuinely try for it giving up all your ego and argument aside. If you are still up with your arguments, keep it in mind that you can win only one, either your relationship or your argument. Compromise or sacrifice is key to any relationship. Without compromise, the relationship becomes one-sided, with just one of you getting what you want and living the life you want to live. The other is simply along for the ride and waiting for a turn. Here compromising doesn’t mean you quit all your wishes, it means you should set your priorities wisely. If giving up one wish grants you thousand bounties, it’s not a bad deal. If you don’t like one habit of your partner, focus over those thousand things that he does to keep you happy. It’s all about your perception, whether you opt to compromise on one thing or you tend to lose those thousand reasons to love him.
Also read: How To Keep Your Pet Happy And Healthy
5 Brilliant Ways to Improve Your English Speaking Skills
When it comes to learning something new, people often fall for coaching and online tutorials. If you want to improve spoken English skills and learn basic business English conversations, spoken English tutorials available on YouTube can help you initially, but listening and watching isn’t enough to improve your communication.
If you wish to speak English fluently you will have to practice it daily in real life conversations. The only way you can learn a new language is when you start speaking it. English is a language of business and professional communication in India. Many deserving candidates lose out on job opportunities because of their vernacular accent. When it comes to draft a killer e-mail or to submit the assignments in college, you can easily buy essay from online essay-writing portals, but when it comes to deliver a speech or when you have to impress your boss-to-be in an interview, you have to be fluent at spoken English.
How to Improve Spoken English skills in a month
Forget the fear: The main problem with most people who find it difficult to speak English fluently is that they lack confidence and they have a fear that they might commit mistake and will be laughed at. But unless you start practicing English communication how would you know where you are going wrong and where you need to improve?
We all make mistakes and the only way to learn is to practice and have others correct us. Start with what you know and soon you will be learning new things you never knew. Unless you start speaking a language you can never learn it.
Think in English: When talking in the English language, many of us tend to think in our native language and then translate it in mind, and make a check again while speaking out. If you think in Hindi and try speaking it after translating it in English, the process takes much time and you cannot communicate with anyone if you take too much time uttering your words.
Improve your vocabulary and word power: Improve your vocabulary to improve your communication. Set a goal to learn 5 new words everyday, then after 6 months, 150 new words will be added to your vocabulary. Any good orator uses 2500-3000 words in his common conversations, hence reaching this goal won’t take much time if you set a goal to learn something new every day.
Google avails a brilliant way to search the meaning of new words. Just type ‘define’ before the word, and it will give an instant reply suggesting its synonyms and an example on how to use it in a sentence. Apart from learning new words, also learn new phrases and slang famous on the internet like the meaning of swag, selfie, bae.
Websites like Thesaurus and Urban Dictionary can help you learning new phrases and slang. For example, if you search “meaning of Brutally Honest” then head to Urban Dictionary and find its meaning and how it is used in popular English. Another thing you need to remember is, sense of the slang doesn’t mean the same in your native language.
For example, if you use Brutally Honest in English, it simply means a candid opinion without sugar-coated words, but if you find its meaning in Hindi or Punjabi it will result something weird. So, when you search for the meaning of Brutally Honest, don’t forget to search Brutally Honest in Hindi too, same with other words and slang.
Just like this example, synonyms are also tricky. “Sink” is synonymous with “fall” but you cannot use sink to replace fall – Ashima was skating on the ice rink and then she sank in ice – makes no sense. Make a list of such new words as and when possible and try to use these words when you are communicating in English. This helps you to make your language grow rich.
Use the digital media to learn spoken English: Read English books, newspapers and magazines. If you are a movie buff, watch Hollywood movies with subtitles, old idea.. huh? Let’s add a twist and make it interesting. Watch a Bollywood Movie with English subtitles. Cool!!
The more you hear the more exposure you get to new words to add on to your vocabulary and you get more familiar with the pronunciation and ‘ intonation of different words.
Practice with other English learners: Find a friend who is also interested in improving spoken English so that you can practice together, correct each other and learn together. There are many spoken English tools available online too. Another thing you can do is to Record your own voice and listen to it. This will help you gain confidence and work on your mistakes.
By inculcating certain practices in your daily life, you will get closer to sound like a native English speaker and equip yourself with a global accent and you will not be speaking American or British English, but correct English.
Also read: Genius Yet Easy Ways To Learn English
How right sitting posture reduces Back Pain – The Healing Begins
Sitting in a wrong posture on an office chair for prolonged intervals of time can undoubtedly trigger back pain or worsen an existing problem related to back and spine. The primary reason behind this is that sitting in a wrong posture, in an office chair increases stress within the back, shoulders, arms, and legs, and particularly, can add massive strain to the back muscular tissues and spinal discs.
A lot of people suffering with severe backache resort on painkillers and physiotherapy rather than focusing on how to improve sitting posture in office chair!
A correct sitting posture on computer or any desk can reduce the back pain minimizing the undue strain over back and spine.
How correct sitting posture reduces Back Pain
When you sit in an office chair for a long interval of time, the common tendency for most of the people is to stoop over or droop down in the chair, and this kind of posture can overstretch the spinal ligaments causing needless strain on the discs, muscular tissues and surrounding structures in the spine.
Over time, wrong sitting posture in the chair can damage spinal structures and contribute to or exacerbate a backache.
An ergonomic office chair is a tool that, when used in a right way, can help one maximize support to back and maintain correct sitting posture while working on a computer.
The first step in setting up an office chair is to ascertain the required height of the individual’s desk or computer or workstation. This choice is determined primarily by the type of work to be done and by the height of the person using the office chair.
The height of the desk or workstation itself can vary greatly and will require different positioning of the office chair, or a different type of ergonomic chair altogether.
Once the workstation has been situated, then the user can adjust the office chair according to his or her physical proportions.
Here are some important tips to help make sure that the office chair and workstation are as comfortable as possible and will cause the least amount of stress to the spine:
- Elbow measure: First, begin by sitting comfortably as close as possible to your workstation so that your upper arms are parallel to your spine. Rest your hands on your work surface (e.g. Desktop, computer keyboard) If your elbows are not at 90-degree angle, adjust your office chair height either up or down.
- Thigh measure: Check that you easily slide your fingers under your thigh at leading edge of the office chair. If it is too tight, you need to prop your feet up with an adjustable footrest. If you are extraordinarily tall and there is more than a finger width between your thigh and the chair, you need to raise the desk or work surface so that you can raise the height of your office chair.
- Calf measure: With your bottom pushed against the chair back, try to pass your clenched fist between the back of your calf and the front of your office chair. If you can’t do that easily, then the office chair is too deep. You will need to adjust the backrest forward, insert a low back support (such as a lumbar support cushion, a pillow or rolled up towel), or get a new office chair.
- Low Back support: Your bottom should be pressed against the back of your chair, and there should be a cushion that causes your lower back to arch slightly so that you don’t slump forward or slouch down in the chair is as you tire over time. This low back support in the office chair is essential to minimize the load on your back. Never slump or slouch forward in the office chair, as that places extra stress on structures in the low back, and in particular, on the lumbar discs.
- Resting eye level: Close your eyes while sitting comfortably with your head facing forward. Slowly open your eyes. Your gaze should be aimed at center of your computer screen. If your computer screen is higher or lower than your gaze, you need to either raise or lower it to reduce strain on the upper spine.
- Armrest: Adjust the armrest of the office chair so that it just slightly lifts your arms at the shoulders. Use of an armrest on your office chair is important to take some of the strain off your upper spine and shoulders, and it should make you less likely to slouch forward in your chair.
Rather than resorting on painkillers and physiotherapy improve your sitting posture in office chair, a correct sitting posture can heal your back pain.
5 Post-Workout Mistakes that are ruining your Fitness Goals
No matter how much energy and time you put into your workout sessions in gym, you won’t see the outcomes you desire if you don’t make the fair choices post-workout. If you are sweating hard to achieve your fitness goals and perfect shape dream, you might find it difficult to reach them if your post-workout choices are not healthy and as perfect as your workout sessions.
From dietary strategies to relaxing and flexing muscles, there are many things that are advised by trainers, that might or might not work with your body. Here we’ve rounded up some of the most common post workout mistakes that can make your fitness goal more distant and probably unachievable.
5 Post Workout Mistakes that you should avoid
Skipping the Stretch: You were a superhero throughout your workout session in the gym. Strong. Fit. Fast. Now it feels difficult to stand up without cringing. Is there any approach to counter this post-workout anguish?
Many people make a mistake of skipping cool-down and stretch after their workout session which is actually stupid as stretching is crucial to calm down your stress hormones. Post-workout stretching helps your body regain the flexibility by minimizing the muscle stiffness; which means your body will be ready again for workout sooner rather than later.
Cooling down is equally important to reduce post-workout muscle soreness. Concluding your exercise with some light aerobics—like walking or jumping lets your internal organs and muscles return to their comfortable levels.
Health experts suggest, taking the time to let your heart rate and blood pressure revert to normal levels cuts your risk of injury.
Under-eating or over eating: What you eat after hitting a workout session at the gym may just be the most important food you eat all day. Food fuels you up before and after workout, and it also helps your muscles repair themselves.
For example, if you weigh 65kg your body needs 65g of protein every day. Many people see food in an emotional way. Many people eat certain things to feel better. This can lead to emotional over-eating or an imbalanced ratio of macro-nutrients.
The biggest post-workout mistake people make is failing to chose an ideal combination of fat, protein and carbohydrate for their body.
Skipping your water bottle: Dehydration is a key contributor to post-workout exhaustion. If your urine flows darker than its usual color, you are likely to be dehydrated. A mere 1% level of dehydration can have a significant impact on your health. Make sure you carry a bottle of fresh water with you when you are training.
Sorry, but a vodka, beer or soda doesn’t count as a hydration agent. Consuming alcohol after a workout session slows down the muscle recovery, dehydrates your body, and increases your risk of blood clots.
Icing and painkillers: Most people tend to use ice packs after a workout to ease the soreness, but icing or taking painkillers without prescription can harm more than they relieve you. Icing reduces inflammation, but in doing so it intervenes the natural way of muscle repair that helps you build more lean mass and become stronger.
Another post workout mistake people make is popping painkillers like candy. Painkillers like ibuprofen delay muscle healing by 6 to 8 hours by checking inflammation—so take it only if you’re really sore.
Sleep Deprivation: Sleep for 6 to 8 hours is crucial for your body to recover after an intense workout session. Because that’s when your body truly starts to repair and build stronger muscles It is advisable to get to bed by 10 p.m as this is the time when your body tends to repair itself according to its natural circadian clock.
As the body focuses on its psychological repair from 2 a.m to 6 a.m. you should not skip it. And if you are tired it is very easy to eat the wrong types of food. So get to bed on time.
Also read: Best Workout for an apple shaped body
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